The Expiry Date of the Universe: Saturday?

Have you heard the news? It looks like in less than 100 hours, we're rocketing off this little troublesome ball while the rest of the world deals with scorpions, plagues, and wrath. So, I guess I won't need to pay the rest of my seminary bill, and pressure's off at work: I won't have to finish coding Briercrest's new website after all! What a relief!

I've been following/enjoying a bit of the "May 21/Judgment Day" stuff online. The eisegesis employed is simultaneously horrifying and downright entertaining. This is the magic of ahistorical interpretation. As I've been reading through eBibleFellowship's carefully crafted bulletin, two questions come to mind: 1) Why does this keep happening? 2) What should we do about it?

The first is easier to answer. These sorts of groups have made these sorts of statements for centuries. But the real problem is improper focus. Jesus said quite clearly in both Mark and Matthew that "about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son; only the Father" (Matt 24:36; Mark 13:32). Our time and energy is not best spent upon deciphering when it's all over. (Nor is it best spent arguing over how we got here.) It's simply something we cannot, and will not, figure out. Only the Father decides when he will wrap up history and fulfill the promises he has made throughout time.

It's important to realize that we, as Christ's followers, are an eschatological people. We're supposed to live with our eyes on the horizon, always expecting Jesus' return. However, that constant watching is supposed to inspire our living, not our leaving. The constant frenzy to determine the expiry date on the universe takes our focus from living lives that mirror Jesus' mission, and replace our dreams with those of escapism. There is real work to be done in the world. The Kingdom is here. That should cause us to rejoice, not to look up in the sky and wish the Enterprise could beam us away.

So then, this brings us to the second question. What should we do with people who cling to this sort of interpretation? Well, there are obvious things we can do, like offer solid teaching, and coming along side them as confused, unfortunate people.

But is that all?

I think I have a constructive, effective solution. Those who are committed to this Saturday's Judgment should be allowed to enjoy it. Why not? Furthermore -- this is the meat of it -- since they will likely also assume that they will be leaving the Earth this weekend, they should be allowed to do so.

How?

Well, Endeavor already left, so that won't work...

I was thinking of a more earth-bound solution. I think a good way to discourage this kind of irresponsible eisegesis is to cancel all their earthly identification. Credit cards, driver's licenses, health cards, house deeds, passports, etc... If leaving is what they want, then this method will be quite effective. Truly, they won't be citizens of this world any longer.

Additionally, I think this might also help with rebuilding their lives after the disappointment of May 22 hits. Without ID or homes, they'll be free to move where they please and become whoever they want -- to truly start over, which might be an attractive option, given the embarrassment of returning to work on Monday morning... So really, this is a merciful, redemptive option.